a prayer - 6-4-24

 I am a fool, Father. I am building my life on sand. I am a willing but miserable slave to my own emotions, desires, impulses, dreams, and whims. I am serving myself. I am seeking my own glory. I am doing it all so very terribly wrong.

I hate it.

But not enough to change.

I am a hypocrite. I am lazy, selfish, ironically prideful - I am prideful when I have nothing to be proud of.

There is nothing lovely in me.

Anything good in me is of You.

You are good. You are powerful, perfect, mighty, merciful, gracious, sovereign, loving, compasionate; You are my Stronghold, my Savior, my God, my Master, my Father, my Creator, my Authority. You love me, You chose me, You saved me, You give me strength. All I have is from You. You are my Father and my God, and You are so good.

Thank You.

Thank You for loving me - first, most, always, to Your own hurt and to Your death. 

Thank You for saving me - for choosing, accepting, adopting, forgiving, redeeming me, and making me Your poeima. 

Thank You for all You've blessed me with - family, church family, friends, jobs, car, finances, health, food, posessions, experiences, opportunities, gifts, biblical counseling, animals, etc. Thank You, Father. I have all that I need - in You - and so much more. You were generous when You loved and saved me, and You are generous when You give me all that I have. Thank You. Help me to be a good steward of all You've given me. I am such a poor steward.

Help me to move my eyes from myself to You. Help me to focus on You, not me. Help me to love You better, and to love others as You do. Help me to deny myself, to die to myself, to pick up my cross, and to follow You and imitate You.

I am a fool, Father. I am so focused on self. I am not properly trusting or glorifying You. I am selfish, bitter, negative, lazy, jealous, prideful... I am ruled by my own sins and desires. I'm sorry. Please help me to get my eyes off myself and on You. Help me to think of You first and foremost and to live my life - to think, speak, and act - in ways that glorify You. Help me to serve You, not me. To fear You alone, no one else, nothing else. Give me a changed heart and changed desires. Help me to sell out for You, to completely give myself to You.

Thank You, Father.

I love You.

In Your Name,

Amen.