The broken one

I don't even know
Who I am
Anymore...

Half-cut-out of the picture of the team.
The only one not looking at the camera.
The only one turned sideways.
The only one...
The weird one...
The different one....
The odd one out.

...Everything is gone
I'm not the same
As before...

The quiet one, while everybody else is talking.
The cheering one, while everybody else is silent.
Off to the side when the rest are together,
Smiling when the rest are sad,
Frowning when they're happy,
This when that,
Wrong when right,
Down when up,
Being different. Making mistakes.

...And I thought
I had a grip
On this life...

The silly one.
The wrong one.
The different one.
The different one.
The different one...

...But I'm lost
Caught in the grip
Of my strife...

...The lonely, sad, misunderstood, misunderstanding, crazy, confused, hungry, depressed, fearfully and wonderfully made one.

The one that had a hard time being encouraged by her own words.

The one that stumbled across social media to find comfort that wasn't there and learn secrets that she didn't want to know.

The one that sang
And wrote
And read
And smiled
And cried
And ran
And hid
And sat
And moped
And wished
And longed
And wondered
And yearned...


The broken one

🌿