the wonder in the everyday

 you've got to find the wonder in your everyday.

you've got to fight to find it.

--especially in a day and age where we so easily, so greedily, so almost helplessly are constantly observing and digesting and applauding and/or bemoaning the wonder in *other* people's days... we have GOT to make sure we find the wonder in our own, or else we will be longing for someone else's while so devastatingly missing our own everyday wonder.

I did (as I semi-often do) a deep-dive into someone else's online presence recently. Well, 2 someones - one famous, one not. One an extremely talented, multi-award-winning (I'm sure), world-renowned/world-toured electronica artist (cough*Owl City*cough), whom I have loved (his music anyway) for years, ever since I heard "Fireflies" on a school bus in 1st grade, and whom (his music anyway) I have only more recently dove into headfirst and become entirely enamored with.

The other Internet deep-dive was one into the online presence of a wife and homeschooling mother.

Both - Owl City (Adam Young) and this mother - boasted old lovely blogs full of old lovely things: memories, life events, blessings counted, stories told, even a few poems written and/or shared -- glimpses (often big ones) into their own unique, individual, personal lives.

I loved the loveliness.

But I also freaked out a little... and started veering toward jealousy, covetousness, despair, insecurity, discontentment...

"That is a lovely life," I thought, as I read through their respective lovely lives. "I wish I was a talented singer/songwriter/musician/producer/artist. I wish I was a mom/homeschool teacher/wife/homemaker/liked-and-admired middle-aged woman. I wish I was happy and successful and financially care-free and productive and content and settled in my identity, my work, my calling, and my purpose."

I wish.

I wish.

I wish.

But then I took a small step back (begrudgingly -- blessedly -- not entirely of my own accord) and realized -- I have my own lovely life. I have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings to count, so much to be happy about, to find meaning in, to celebrate and love and NOT take for granted.

I am who I am for a reason and a purpose.

I am not someone else.

I do not have someone else's calling, or job, or life.

I have my own. My own work to do, my own gifts/talents to develop and use for God's glory, my own responsibilities, my own duties, my own passions, my own calling, my own relationships, my own possessions and finances and circumstances...

God has placed me where I am, and made me who I am, and given me what I have, for a reason. And that reason is to glorify Him, if nothing else. To find my utmost joy and contentment and purpose and love and freedom and satisfaction and peace in HIM -- nothing else, no one else.

There is no better set of circumstances for me. There is no better life for me than what the Lord has given me. There is no better place to be than in His will, loving Him and knowing His love, serving Him and not myself, glorifying Him and not myself, doing what He has called me to do, and doing it well, with a cheerful heart.

I am not rich. -- But I have enough money.

I am not famous. -- But I am known enough by the ones I love.

I do not have as much free time as I would like. -- But I have enough.

I am not as talented at ___ as so-and-so. -- But I can always improve my own God-given talents.

I am not (yet) a girlfriend -- or a wife -- or a mother -- or a homemaker -- or a homeschool teacher.

But, I am what I am right now for a reason -- a daughter -- a sister -- a granddaughter -- a calf feeder -- a seasonal park attendant -- a Sunday School teacher -- a friend -- a writer -- a singer -- etc.

God has placed me where I am for a purpose, and probably just for a season. After this season -- which will last only precisely as long as He intends it to -- there will come another season. There will be changes -- no, not all of them particularly pleasant to me -- and He will be constant and unchanging amid them all.

In the wise words of Darryl Worley: "sounds like life to me / it ain't a fantasy / it's just a common case of everyday reality"...

That's just life, according to the will and good purposes of God, which I will never perfectly understand, but -- I don't need to.

I have only to leave my cares, dreams, and future in His hands, cling to Him in faith, and do the work He has given me, in cheerfulness and contentment.

He is good. 

Life is good.

And I choose to find the wonder in my everyday. 💚✝

thoughts on Mondays (on a Saturday evening) - Soli Deo Gloria

     I like Mondays, actually, currently.

    (And that’s saying something, because I have regrettably turned into the kind of person who quite rather absolutely detests Mondays, and mornings, et cetera, with a passion.)

    But, currently, I like Mondays. (And I am slowly warming to mornings.)

    Mondays mean working my part-time farm job from 2-6 pm.

    I love my farm job. I feed calves.

    I love them. They are so cute.

    Calves are perfect for a girl like me - they’re alive, they’re interactive, they’re cuddly and friendly -- but they don’t judge, they don’t yammer on in conversation, they don’t say things I don’t like or ask me questions I can’t answer.

    They’re alive, but they’re not human.

    It works okay for me that way.

    Granted, I work with another girl to feed them, and we talk. She’s nice. I like her too. She does most of the talking and I do most of the listening, but I think that works okay for us.

    I like Mondays lately.

    Work at 2 means I can sleep in a little. I’m trying to get up earlier anyway - especially since my other part-time job requires a 5:30 am wakeup - but it’s nice, even if I do get up pretty early, not to have to rush to go anywhere right away.

    On Mondays I get up and read my Bible and pray… and I’m still working to nail down a schedule for the in-between hours before I go to work, but usually it’s a bit of housework, maybe some reading, writing, music-listening… tending to my mini pony, maybe going on a run… catching up on laundry… prepping for teaching Sunday School… and, finally, getting ready for work, eating lunch, swinging by my Grandpa’s place to chat for a bit, and then heading off to the farm.

    It’s a 10-15 minute drive. (Not quite 10, not quite 15.) I listen and/or sing along to whatever CD is currently in my car’s CD player -- Owl City’s “The Midsummer Station” right now; before that, “Ocean Eyes” also by OC, and “All That is Within Me” by MercyMe, and “Past the Edges” by Chris Rice, and “Amusing” also by CR. I need - NEED - to get one of the 5 Bebo Norman CDs I own in there soon. (Bebo Norman is my FAVORITE.)

    My car’s AC doesn’t work, so as the weather warms up for late spring now, I usually put the windows down somewhat, and turn the music up a little louder. It doesn’t get much more Americana-summer-esque than that, does it?

    When I get to the farm, I navigate my car between whatever farm machinery might happen to be in the way, park where I usually do, gather my things, clock in, then enter the barn, pop in one wireless earbud, boot up my Spotify playlist (current fave: a mix of Bebo Norman, Owl City, Switchfoot, Fernando Ortega, a little country, and a whole lot of early 2000s CCM), and get to work.

    While I work, I listen to aforementioned lovely music. And while I do that, I dream a little.

    I have to be careful with my dreaming. I have to keep myself in check. Which is way totally absolutely easier said than done.

    I try to focus on what I am physically doing. Fill this bucket. Pick it up, feel the weight. Walk over here, dump this, sweep that, rub this calf’s snout, pat that one on the head, check this one’s bucket of grain - ope, more grain - fill the grain bucket, heft it back to the calves, pour a little - not too much - ope, that’s too much - into the buckets, check their bedding, fill the wheelbarrow with sawdust, shovel sawdust into stalls, put wheelbarrow away, what was I doing again?... oh right, dreaming… nope, back to the calves… what song is this?... what next?...

    I try to focus on what I am physically doing.

    I try to focus on God.

    This second one’s way harder for me to achieve.

    I’m so earthly-minded, so self-centered, so - yes, I’ll admit it - lazy, selfish, proud, vain.

    I set my mind and heart and attention on lesser things, earthly things, fleshly things… I order my world to give it the best chance of revolving around - who else? - moi. Yours truly.

    “Yours truly” -- haha.

    Truth is hard for me to come by these days.

    Well no, not really. I know the truth. I ingest it every day - in the Bible, in theological and/or Scripture quotes on social media, in the Christian songs I listen to, in the (few) conversations I have…

    I come across a whole bunch of truth.

    But also a whole bunch of lies.

    And I’m not diligent enough, or confident enough, to always - or consistently - or responsibly - discern the truth vs. lies in my daily life.

    --Add to all of this the fact(s) that I am a young adult really just learning how on earth to live life, with a high school diploma and 2 years of college (no more, no less) under my belt, plus a whole bunch of uncertainty, cluelessness, starry-eyed fantasies, a bit too much self-interest, and all the mental/emotional inhibition of a hopeless romantic (which ain’t much).

    I’ve found that I love playing the victim, too. (Ouch.) I have become a top-rated heavyweight mental prizefighter over the years, proficient and extremely successful at beating myself up - unnecessarily. (Just like worrying - beating oneself up is entirely unnecessary.)

    I’ve found that I am way too loathe to own up, take responsibility for my actions, exercise some self-control and maturity and responsibility and dying-to-self-ity, and glorify God. Honor Christ. Turn to Him, cast my gaze (and my cares) upon Him, prize and cherish Him above all else, find my comfort & worth & identity & joy in HIM. No one else. Nothing else.

    In

                    Christ

                                        alone.

    Anyway.

    I like Mondays lately.

    My identity is (secure) in Christ.

    God has equipped me with all that I need to live for Him.

    I have a responsibility and a purpose to fulfill!

    There is (much) work to do!

    It is up to me to make God-glorifying choices - every day all over again - which will gradually form habits, which will pretty well determine how I live my life.

    How do I live my life? -- I answer that question with another question:

    How would God have me live my life?

    -- There’s my answer. There’s the roadmap.

    It’s not easy, but it is simple: glorify God. Die to self. Live for Christ.

    Know God’s love personally, love God, and love others.

    All of life for the glory of God.

    Every Monday (liked or not), every calf fed, every bucket hefted, every word spoken, every mile driven, every song sung, every relationship nurtured, every job done, every hour volunteered, every dream dreamed…..

    All

    For the glory

    Of God.

    Simple as that. 💚✝