purpose.

Well, here I am, Jesus.
Again.
Here I am.
I've had a tough go of it, and I'm weary--even though You encouraged me not to be--and I'm tired, real tired, but here I am again.
I'm here.
And You are too, aren't You?--no, that's silly.
You're here too.
Thank You.
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Jesus, sometimes it really just doesn't make any sense down here.
Sometimes it feels unpleasant.
Sometimes it feels purposeless.
But it's not purposeless--I know it's not--because if there were no purpose for me to be here--no point--I wouldn't be, would I?
No... You have a purpose for me, don't You?
Even still.
Even here.
Even now.
I've always had a purpose here, haven't I? Always have, still do, and always will--right?
I've done some purposeful things, haven't I?
And I'm still furthering that purpose, right?
And there are more purposeful things that I will do in the future, aren't there?
I'm trusting so, Jesus.
I believe.
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You didn't put me here for no reason. I know that, Lord, ignorant as I am.
You've got something for me to do, to carry out, to fulfill... and by Your grace I have done it, am doing it, and will continue to do it.
This is not the end.
This is not it.
There is more here... and You'll help me complete it.
And now granted, I'd like Heaven.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm looking ahead.
But now is not the time... right?
There is still more here.
More people to help.
More purpose to fulfill.
More to learn.
More to be.
More to do.
-
Well, Father, alright then.
May I resign myself--no, attach myself--to Your will.
May my will be Yours.
May I realize, Abba, that even in this darkness,
This storminess,
This pain--
Even here there is a purpose.
Even here You have a plan.
Father, please help me to trust You through it all.
Help to realize that I don't need to know the path
Or the plan
Or Your will.
I just need to put one foot in front of the other
And keep walking
And trust You to guide the next step.
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So Abba, I'm here.
You're here.
There's a purpose here, too.
-
Help me
Lord
To walk on
And trust You. 🍃