Life is... Good!

"Life is Good."
Indeed... so why is it that I and we always get so down in spontaneous bouts of "depression"?
Look! Look at all these tress and flowers and sunshine!! Look at your happy dog, your lovely family, your house, your bed, your sweater, your jeans, your trusty old shoes, your memories, your God, your everything!
LOOK! Isn't it all just so seriously amazingly good?? (yes it is!!)
LOOK at yourself- how God made you, how He's carried you, how He will use you in the days ahead. Look at His plan so far. Look at His promises. Aren't they spectacularly wonderful?
YES! They are!
Life is Good. Not just a saying on a t-shirt, a guarantee in the paper, a halfhearted well-wishing nothing. It's true, it's real.

Life is so GOOD! 😊💚

The broken one

I don't even know
Who I am
Anymore...

Half-cut-out of the picture of the team.
The only one not looking at the camera.
The only one turned sideways.
The only one...
The weird one...
The different one....
The odd one out.

...Everything is gone
I'm not the same
As before...

The quiet one, while everybody else is talking.
The cheering one, while everybody else is silent.
Off to the side when the rest are together,
Smiling when the rest are sad,
Frowning when they're happy,
This when that,
Wrong when right,
Down when up,
Being different. Making mistakes.

...And I thought
I had a grip
On this life...

The silly one.
The wrong one.
The different one.
The different one.
The different one...

...But I'm lost
Caught in the grip
Of my strife...

...The lonely, sad, misunderstood, misunderstanding, crazy, confused, hungry, depressed, fearfully and wonderfully made one.

The one that had a hard time being encouraged by her own words.

The one that stumbled across social media to find comfort that wasn't there and learn secrets that she didn't want to know.

The one that sang
And wrote
And read
And smiled
And cried
And ran
And hid
And sat
And moped
And wished
And longed
And wondered
And yearned...


The broken one

🌿

Rollercoasters and Real Hope

Some days I'm not even ON the roller-coaster of life- some days, I've fallen OFF.

Yep. Right around the loop-de-loop, upside down, and straight off the ride.

Things aren't fun or enjoyable or even extremely bearable anymore. The adrenaline, the rush, the happiness, the smile, the carefree-ness? Going, going, gone.

And after I hit the ground I blink for a moment. I'm stunned. What just happened? But I was having such a good time on there!

... Right?

Doesn't matter. It was better than this.

... Right?

And then I don't know anything. I may have gotten off one roller-coaster, but another- this time an emotional one- is just leaving the station, with me buckled in (like it or not) for the ride.

Up, down, around, around, straight, up, down, up again. Happy! Sad. Boooored. Angry!! Sad. Tired... Happy!

It's exhausting and confusing and utterly identity-crisis-evoking. Who am I? What's happening? Will I ever be normal, be good again?

And the answer is, I don't know. If you're out there scratching your chin, I've already given up on trying to figure any of this out. I have absolutely NO idea.

So the hope of this post is... there's hope. REALLY there is.

When you feel down, look up! When it feels like you don't have anything under control (or when you really DON'T), remember the One who does and that He's holding you!

Peace, be still- the Lord is near.

-Emily
🍂

Days to Serve

How can you use the days God has given you to love and serve others?

Hmmm... I wonder.
How?

Let's see: a while back I was really hyped with making, writing, drawing on, and coloring homemade cards for people- birthdays, funerals, and so on. It felt good to make those cards, and good to give them away, and very good (and flattering) when I happened upon one of them magnet-ed to my Grandpa's fridge- the card I'd given to him at Grandma's burial.
And those cards did take up a few of my days. Sitting down and thinking of an idea, brainstorming, writing, erasing, drawing, erasing, writing and drawing and erasing again. I felt- pleased with them, too. Not just the cards themselves and how they looked, but with making them for someone else, to encourage and inspire through a dreary storm or happy day.
I felt good for serving others and showing love with my cards.

But I don't think that's quite it here.
Oh, definitely not.

So how can I use my days to serve and love, love and serve?
Not by sitting on the couch for hours on end, that's for sure.
Not by grumping about all the effort it takes to make people happy.
Not by using every second for self-pleasure when I could be using them for pleasing others- reading my favorite book instead of helping Grandpa tend the garden; watching a funny Internet video instead of helping Dad stack the wood; starting a new round of a computer game instead of playing a board game with my sister.

No. Certainly not.
And while I must strongly admit that I am a professional self-seeker and couch potato, I do long to serve. Deep down in my core, my gut, my heart- maybe buried by a couple too many tortilla chips and mermaid videos- I ache to serve. To see smiles and hear laughter. To feel the firm happiness in handshakes and sweet appreciation in hugs.

To serve others-
and to serve God. 🍂